The Fear of Doing Things Alone

I really love this quote.

“Don’t put yourself on hold waiting on people to do things with.”

So, say a new movie comes out this weekend and you’re the only one amongst your friends who wants to see it. Would you go alone or would you miss out on seeing the movie you were really excited to see?

Answer honestly.

If the answer is no to going alone, ask yourself, “why not?” Really think about why you wouldn’t go to the movies, or to dinner, or bowling, or yoga by yourself.

I know this is something I struggle with, but once I sat down and really thought about why I stop myself from going out alone, I realized how irrational my reasoning was.

  • People will think I’m weird.
  • What if I get murdered and no one can find me because I went out alone.
  • I’ll just be uncomfortable the whole time and won’t enjoy myself.

First, why waste my time and energy worrying about what someone else is thinking about me? Why should I give strangers any power over what I do with my life?

Second, I could get murdered sitting in the comfort of my own bed. Sad, but true. And whatever I do alone isn’t going to be intentionally dangerous, illegal, or haphazard to my health. I can’t let fear control my life.

Thirdly,

I have the right to live my best life whether someone joins me or not.

Studies have shown that people actually enjoy themselves just as much alone than if they were amongst other people. According to an article published in the Washington Post, people will be happier if they would go out and do something, even if they’re alone.

Rebecca Ratner, a Marketing Professor at Robert H. Smith School of Business, said, “When you compare an experience that is very similar with or without someone else, like visiting a gallery or going to a movie, you find little difference in enjoyment,” said Hamilton. “Going to a restaurant might be a little different, because there’s that element of conversation, but that doesn’t preclude the reality that going to a restaurant alone is still enjoyable.”

“The reality is that you’re foregoing a lot of fun,” said Ratner. “We all are.”

 

What are some of the reasons you fear about going out alone? Let’s talk about it in the comment section!

I Think you should also realize this…

Once you decide you’re going to try doing things on your own, you should expect feelings of discomfort. You should expect thoughts to come that are convincing you not to go. I mean, not only is it something you haven’t done before, but it’s also something that you’ve been telling yourself for however long that this is weird, dangerous, and something only lonely people do.

Remember it’s more about managing the fear/anxiety than overcoming it.

But there are so many benefits to going out alone

  1. Improve your self- confidence
  2. You’re begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin
  3. You can do what you want, when you want
  4. You can discover new things about yourself
  5. You can have quiet time to think or solve any problems

And those are just a few. Check out some more here.

I know this can be tricky. That’s why I put together a free downloadable worksheet of my best 20 things that you could do alone, if not today, this week!

 

 

Click Here To Download!

 

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6 Comments

  1. This really makes you think about yourself (as a whole person Thank you for thoughtful messages that causes you to reflect on yourself. You are a gifted and talented young woman. Continue to let God use you!

  2. Being a wife and mother of toddlers you are definitely in need of some personal “me time” every now and then! Thanks for this reminder that it’s okay to break off and be alone sometimes to rediscover me! ?

  3. I definitely need the time to think, reflect, plan, and get to know myself! My life moves so fast with being a single parent and working and singing. Sometimes I need to just be by myself and be me!

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