I’ve messed up too many times to count.
And when I think about all the crappy things I’ve done, I feel so corrupt and damaged. I start feeling like I will never become who I really want to be. I will never achieve all that I want in life because of how many times I’ve dropped the ball. I start feeling kind of hopeless.
Little trivia about me: In my most vulnerable moments, I hide.
I hide from my myself, I hide from the truth, I hide from the world, but to my biggest downfall, I hide from Jesus.
Because, in those moments, I feel ashamed. Jesus stuck his neck out for me and I messed it up yet again.
So, for a while, I was blocked from what I really needed in that moment- my friend. I needed some fresh advice and for someone to tell me He loves me no matter what.
And so, for days, I quietly suffered. Not noticing what I was missing.
Have you seen The Shack?
Well, if you haven’t it’s a great christian movie.
Here’s the synopsis
“After suffering a family tragedy, Mack Phillips spirals into a deep depression that causes him to question his innermost beliefs. Facing a crisis of faith, he receives a mysterious letter urging him to an abandoned shack in the Oregon wilderness. Despite his doubts, Mack journeys to the shack and encounters an enigmatic trio of strangers led by a woman named Papa. Through this meeting, Mack finds important truths that will transform his understanding of his tragedy and change his life forever.”
While I watched this movie I heard Jesus speak directly to me.
Matter fact I can better explain if you watch this short clip from the movie.
It truly blessed me to see how Jesus stretched Himself a little further in order to meet Mack in all his pain, anger, sadness, and confusion. Even through all of Mack’s mistakes, outburst, and hurtful words, Jesus, lovingly and patiently, stayed with him.
I also loved how Jesus and Mack were portrayed in the movie. They were just two friends going through life. I mean you saw them, walking on the water, having casual conversation, sharing a few laughs. Jesus wasn’t shown as a task master or some big guy giving orders. He was shown as a loving friend wanting, more than anything, for Mack to be whole again.
I mean you heard Him say, “I’m not interested in slaves. I want friends. A family to share a life with.”
That’s all it is. A friendship. Just like the one you have with your best friend, but better.
I lost sight of that for a minute.
Here’s something else to notice
Jesus took the form of a casual guy friend because that’s what Mack needed in that moment. That said to me, whatever face you need to give me, whatever name you need to call me, that’s what I’ll be. Whatever you need to say, say it. Whatever questions you need to ask, ask them.
If I need a guy friend to look me in the eye and say, “don’t think about the past. Don’t think about the pain. Everything’s going to be okay.” Then I can give him that face and I can give him that voice.
There’s no need to feel inadequate or unworthy to talk to Jesus or to start building a relationship with him right now.
I mean, what kind of friendship is it if you can’t even say what’s on your mind without the fear of being judged.
He will meet you exactly where you are right now, right here. And he will hold you up, walk by your side, and help you grow into the best version of yourself.