Why do you deem your neighbor’s opinion of you more important than your own opinion of you? I mean really, how much sense does that make?
I don’t think there has ever been a time when we didn’t let what others think of us stop what we want, desire, need, etc. And through all that time, we have found no benefit from it. So why do we keep doing this to ourselves?
I’ll admit it. I’m guilty of this. I think we all are. Some more than others. I remember being completely overwhelmed by the thought of walking across the cafeteria to get a fork in high school because I couldn’t stop thinking about what everyone else was thinking about me.
“What will they say about the way I walk or what I’m wearing? What if I trip & fall? OMG, I would just die.”
Ugh. Just the thought of it makes me wanna gag.
But the true tragedy is that we still do things like this!
We literally put our designed purpose on hold in fear of what our friends will think. We hide our special traits and specifically designed personalities because we fear that that girl over there won’t like us. We really brush aside our god-given gifts & talents in fear that strangers will give us a funny look.
The more I think about it the more pissed I get.
Who put us in this box? Why did we let them? And how the heck do we get out?!
Well, Science says…
“Before humans were sitting pretty at the top of the food chain, there was safety in numbers.”
Our ancestors faced big & nasty threats. So, they found safety in groups. For a group had a better chance of survival than one man.
“Not being accepted into the group could mean the difference between life and death.”
Fast forward to 21st century…
Even though we are pretty much number 1 on the food chain, we still have social, psychological, and physical threats. Now, “to be accepted means more than just the comfort of community — it can shape the way in which you view yourself and interact with the world around you.”
Listen up Pretty
I know there are times you feel unsure or insecure. So, you seek validation from those around you. You go to family and ask for their advice. You go to your friends and talk it out with them. To an extent, that’s perfectly fine; healthy even.
But realize this
Seeking validation or approval from those outside of yourself can be addictive. It’s then you start making large life decisions or purchasing expensive items based on the approval of others, all the while neglecting your own values and beliefs.
For more information read this article.
I can think of a few reasons why we’ve kept this unhealthy tradition alive
• We fear rejection
Other’s approval is like our safe haven. If we have it, then there’s no need to second guess our own intuition or exercise the confidence we have in ourselves. Why? Because we know, beforehand, that we won’t be ridiculed or laughed at. We already know what the people around us will think. So, we seek approval in fear of being rejected.
• We are Insecure
Too many if us aren’t confident enough to set aside what others think about and do what we really want. Maybe we aren’t secure enough in our decision making so that we don’t have to rely on someone else’s approval of our decision.
• We are Afraid
Too afraid to step out and be different. Too afraid to show people our authentic selves. Too comfortable living in a box that we at the though of doing something just a little strange.
Ask Yourself, why do you care so much what people think of you? How can you break out of that bad habit? Let me know in the comment section!
I’ll tell you why I don’t care anymore
Because the world wasn’t there when I was less than okay. Yes, my family and friends did their best to help me, but it was just me when I laid awake at night wishing I was anybody else, but me. Anywhere else, but here. Other people don’t know what it took for me to come out of that place and what it takes for me everyday to keep myself from going back. The world didn’t save me. So, why do I care what they think about me?
Matter fact, I’ll give you a few reasons why you shouldn’t care either!
1. The World didn’t save you
Again, in your most desperate time those nay-sayers weren’t there. They didn’t do the work that you had and still have to do to be happy and successful.
2. You won’t accomplish your dreams
Instead, you live your life serving what other people think about you. That will become your ruler; your God; your deciding factor. You’ll be too fearful to actually create a life that resembles the authentic you. Gross!
3. It’ll Compromise your self-confidence
Your confidence to be yourself will lessen. And that totally sucks. Soon you’ll be imitating everyone else instead of trusting your own intuition.
4. You don’t know how messed up they are
Everybody has issues, but some people are just toxic. Someone judging you may be living their life in a fearful box. So, watching you love yourself and taking action on your fantasy life freaks them out! It reminds them that they are, indeed, in a box. So, instead of improving their own life, they try and tear down yours.
5. Sometimes It’s just in your own head
Why worry yourself about what someone is thinking about you? You don’t even know if that’s what they’re really thinking lol. You can get yourself all worked up for no reason. Who knows, they may be thinking how confident and different you are.
“Look at her taking pictures in the middle of the grocery aisle. Good for her.”
I mean, you never know.
I’m certainly not perfect when it comes to marching to the beat of my own drum, but it’s a goal I get closer to every day.
Let me tell you what I’ve noticed so far…
- You’ll experience a freedom that you’ve never known before. Being able to wake up everyday knowing that you don’t have to be anyone else but you is an awesome feeling. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
- You’ll go harder for what you want and what you believe in. Simply because you realize the people around you don’t get to decide how you live!
- You will attract friends that love and accept every part of you. Imagine your life with real, true, authentic, ride or die friends. Who lift you up instead of tear you down. Friends who don’t get secretly but not so discreetly jealous anytime something good happens to you. Sounds great right?
Your not going to just wake up and suddenly not care about everyone’s opinions of you and, believe me, people aren’t going stop giving you their opinions of you. This is a process. A daily decision. Everyday you have to make the decision to do what you were called to do no matter what the rest think. And you can make that choice right now!