The Confessions of a Young Black Christian

Being a young black Christian in this millennial generation is not easy. One reason being it’s hard for me to balance my spiritual life with being a young care free college student. Half of the time, I feel like I’m letting God down. The other half, I feel disconnected from my peers because very few want to be friends with a Jesus freak. So many things run through my mind that I think make me a bad Christian. So, I actually wanted to share some of them with you in hopes of encouraging you that you aren’t alone. That we are all just mere human beings growing in our walk with Christ.

I don’t want a church boy

Let me clarify. Even though I kind of am, I don’t want a goodie goodie. It’s hard finding a good looking guy who loves Jesus, but who’s also down to earth and knows how to let loose every once and a while. It seems I either meet a guy who has no affiliation with christianity at all or a guy that talks about nothing else but Jesus. It’s hard finding that in between guy.

It’s hard balancing my spiritual life with today’s society

I want to be apart of my generation. I want to take part in its trends. I want to build friendships and explore new things. I want to be open minded and live freely. However, a lot of the things people my age enjoy doing are not only in line with my own interests, but are also not in line with God’s interests. I fear living in a bubble, but I also fear not growing into the women God wants me to be.

Sharing my faith is difficult

I hate to admit it and I am getting better with this, but I care too much what people think of me. It holds me back from freely sharing my faith with my peers. I’m an introvert. I have to prepare myself mentally before entering a social scene, before presenting a project, or even before speaking my opinion. So, imagine how difficult it is for me to share something some people find hilariously stupid.

Can’t seem to stick with the one-year bible plan

There are some parts of the Bible that are just like….

For instance, the hundreds of names listed at one time or the back to back pages of the exact instructions God gave to build the Tabernacle, or a table, or even a lamp stand.

It gets lonely

As stated before, it’s not often I run into a young, black, and devoted christian. It’s hard for me to relate to my generation and for my generation to relate to me.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know, so I could do

I see what others do with, what it seems like, no conviction. Sometimes, from my eyes, it looks like their having the time of their lives while  I’m constrained by my beliefs.

He is my worth/beauty/qualification

In a world where a woman’s outer beauty determines her worth, Jesus serves as my beauty and my worth. I burn bright because he shines through me. I feel beautiful when I remember that a God hand crafted every inch of my being.

I don’t know how people live without him

There are some things I went through that I know I wouldn’t have made it through without Jesus. I just don’t know how others live, laugh, and grow with out Him. There are and definitely will always be challenges walking with God, but because of my relationship with Him, I always come out on top.

 

I think it important to share these not so pretty things about the young Christian life. We are all growing into the people God wants us to be. Even though I’m not proud of some of the things I mentioned above, they’re true. And I know I’m not the only one going through these things. The purpose of this post, was to open up about things that aren’t talked about as much. And to tell you that God will work with you. He recognizes your weaknesses and will help you. When I feel alone, God always reminds me that He is there. When I fear I’ll never find the right guy, God always reminds me He is in control. When I feel constrained by His word, He reminds me that it’s the best path for my life.

We can get so focused on all the things we do wrong we forget that Jesus knew we would be struggling with all of these things, but still died for us. We can go to him, pray to him and sit in his presence just the way we are. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. All we can do is surrender to His plan for our life and let Him grow us in His image.

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.” Titus 3:5

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